Journey 2008 ...
31 December ...
Still no
ducks or geese. Pelverized a roo though.
13 December ...
I was sure this weather would
bring some action ... but NOTHIN'. I'm running into a few
pheasants, and quail, but for the most part I leave them alone in my
quest for `green'.
6 ... snuck up on a couple quacks ...
Got the green but missed the
hen. Flushed some pheasants but couldn't tell the roos because
they were in the sun. Incredible sunset ... incredible weather.
5 December ...
Got a roo ... screwed up on some ducks. Cut some tracks just
outside city limits ... might be wolf ... dunno.
One was spotted within a mile of here last year.
2 December ... WEALTH comes from CENTER ...
I'm walking along, thinking ... WEALTH COMES FROM CENTER. Wealth,
Health, LIFE, are conditions of the heart.
I come up to a good bend. Greenery. (I love
`greenery'.) They are in good range. I have the draw on
them. My gun is up as they take flight. I dump the green
and turn to the hen, and dump her. Perfect double!
I am looking for a place to cross the creek (to get the green on the
other side).
A hen (Pheasant) gets up. I'm thinking, hen. But I am also thinking
there is other stuff going on (getting up) - so I get ready for the
roo. Roo busts in front, going straight out right. First
shot is a miss. I don't like misses. Roo turns left (to
follow the hens?). Second shot - more distant - topples him.
SWEET.
I collect the birds and go after the hens. I jump them again,
but, yes, only hens (remain.)
Wealth comes from CENTER. Wealth is a condition of the heart.
30 ... still duckless around here.
28th ... went out hunting with Candace ...
Got wet ...
26 ... toppled a roo ...
... where else can one
live and drive five minutes, and get into birds while getting out of the car, and
have something down five minutes later?
Tell me, and I will move there, next.
24 ... got one green.
circa 21
I
got
2 ...
I went out to the flats ... the golden sunshine and blue sky
irresistible. Coming up on the Creek ... nothin. Amazingly, the
creek is (always) hard to cross without getting wet. Sometimes
very wet. And it is impossible to cross without some kind of
fuss. I crossed. On the other side and not too far upstream
three Mallards busted. I was thinking about other things.
Ughhhhh. I was hardly being sneaky - since I just crossed - and
assumed there was nothing around. I drew on the green and
shot. Nothin'. My gun jammed - which I think sometimes I
cause myself in the mystification of a miss. But how could I have
missed? Even though there was no sign of a hit - it was
impossible that not one or two pellets find bird. They flew
on. I watched for a bit, then stopped watching. I had a
hunch that they would fly on, and I would find them, or at least the
green, on up the creek. I lost track of them.
And herein lies the benefit of being sneaky, which I had not been,
sufficiently, and that is: that while it is still possible to get ducks
when jumped at a distance, it is far more productive to jump them up
close. At 45 yards one might get one bird in one or two shots,
but at 8 yards there is sufficient opportunity for a triple.
A bit farther up the creek I spotted green (one of another group of
birds). I hoped he had not spotted me, but, alas, and a very
quick alas at that, the pair got up. I drew on the green, and
missed. But I knew the capability of the gun, and the ammo,
aimed, and fired again, and dropped him. Forty five yards.
As I neared I had to dispatch him with another round as he made a dash
for the creek.
On up around the bends, and on to the end. I decided to go clear
to the corner ... who knows? ... perhaps a roo. At the end a
green, at a place where one might expect a roo, ... erupted from the
tall grasses. He was probably the green from clear back at the
crossing. I dropped him with one shot and dispatched him with a
second.
So, I think I have killed all three birds that I have shot at this
season, but they have caught me being not very sneaky. And I have
churned through precious ammo.
20 November, waiting for ducks and geese ...
Today while I was working on my
computer - I could see this big storm coming. I called Tammy and
we went outside to watch. In `seconds' I could feel the
temperature drop. I told Tammy that ducks and geese will `ride' a
storm like that ... and, sure enough, within seconds we could hear
geese in the tumult of the storm. In a matter of minutes the
temperature dropped 20 degrees, and with the wind chill, the equivalent
certainly a lot more. I changed clothes, adding a layer of long
johns, and headed out. As I cleared my neighborhood it became
apparent that the blast was quite local, and the surrounding areas were
experiencing a much milder, or non- version, of the same storm.
And as I got out into the field, I found it was still duck-less and
goose-less. For the first time this fall my hands, though, were
truly cold, and it might be that flip-flops and short sleeve shirts and
shorts will no longer suffice. So, in one sense it was just an exercise
... but one of these days, ducks and geese will come, and I will ...
18 November ... I did the thing I love this evening.
I went out at evening and looked
for deer. Partly in preparation for Candace's return on break -
to get the deer `lined up for her' - and also because there isn't much
else going on - the weather warm and almost summer-like. The
waterfowl have not yet arrived from the north. In fact, it was in
t-shirts and vest that I went out - with spotting scope and binos -
climbing to a high spot to see, and enjoy the fleeting sun. I did
not see deer east of the highway, where I filled my last tag, but one
did show up in a corner of [Deleted]'s property, just coming out into
the field to feed. Probably three fourths of a mile away, I swung
the spotting scope around, dialed up to 45X, and, then could see
several more.
Then I saw something amazing. I have not hunted the rut
before - as I like to have my tags filled much earlier - but it is
apparently a time when the bucks throw away caution, and for ten days
during the year - show themselves. And now is the rut.
A big deer with swollen neck went out into the field, and as
near as I could tell, chased the others (including the fine doe) into
the timber. Never have I seen a deer with such neck, but, again,
never have I hunted the rut.
A hunter appears on the
ridge maybe another half mile
beyond. He reminds me a bit of me, as I have crossed that ridge
at that place so many times, and wandered about as he appears to be
doing ... probably thinking how `deer-less' the whole area is, and
certainly not aware that he is being watched (by the deer he doesn't
think are there - much less by me). I listen for a shot, but I
know there will not be one.
Ten or fifteen minutes later,
perhapswith intercou rse now over, the
doe
returned, to resume feeding.
9 November ... Church today ... un_church
4 November ... First Green
... went
out
looking for the `Alberta birds' ... nothin' but ran into a couple
(presumably) local mallards, and dumped the green.
21 "... eating red meat - and lovin' it."
20 October ... " ... just bein' dirt - and lovin' it."
Clean
living before God and justice with our neighbors
mean far more to
God than religious performance.
(Proverbs 21)
20 October ... filled my doe tag ...
I made what seemed like a thousand phone calls. I never could get
through to the `operator' - so - in desperation left a message.
Finally about 5 I got hold of the landowner. He gave me
permission to hunt, but only me ... but he said he didn't really own
that far north ... and that piece belongs to ... So, I called him, and
he asked - " ...aren't you the guy with the son who stopped by
yesterday?" I was dumbfounded, and at first said no, thinking he
must have been in back or something of one of the places we knocked and
no one answered. But after drilling me - I finally realized -
`yeah, that was me'. And now I am apologizing for going around in
total circles. He said,`yeah, I own that piece, but it borders on
so-and-so's, so you probably better call him, also'. (Note that
the sun is getting closer and closer to the horizon in all of
this.) So I called so and so, and his wife answered - she said,
normally not, but since you know (the other) so and so, I'll let you
talk to my husband'. And he says, "yes, but you better talk to
the people that own the little piece by ... " (And the sun is
getting even lower on the horizon.) At this point I made an
executive decision that who he meant was that car repair guy -
who - recall - said - `yeah, hunt it all - and don't bother asking'.
So ... I thought of calling Curtis ... but figured the opportunity to
mobilized the two of us had passed, so I grabbed my already ready
stuff, and headed out. It took me a while to figure out where to
park, but then I dashed up the hill, trying to stay far enough south to
not be betrayed by the wind.
I got up to near the edge of the field, and two does busted out.
I think they could smell me only, as they were at my end of the field,
and downwind. They ran about a half mile, and then a wonderful
thing happened, they started working their way back. But kinda
nervous. I got set up, and took the shot at 220 yards. The
wind was strong, and the shot missed. One deer fled east and out
of sight; the one I was shooting at, startled by the plume of dust
beyond, ran my way a bit. Hmmmmmm. I don't think she could
figure out where things were coming from, and so she hung kind of down
in the draw of the field. I took another shot. Another
clean miss. What the ... I'm glad no one is watching. Again
the
deer fled the plume of dust beyond and came my way a bit
more. I crawled closer. At 150 yards I took one more shot
... there was the sound of impact, no big plume, and she dashed out of
sight, ...I knew.
I found her down in the field, very dead, a very nice standard
whitetail doe.
20 ... Christians ... (what if we could realize this picture:)
" ... a bunch of dreamers, and
partiers, ... but Oh, how they love God, and others."
17 ... Teen Music 2 ... http://www.xomba.com/teen_music_2
... and on text messaging
... http://www.xomba.com/text_messaging_teenage_language_love
14 ... mixed it up a bit ... went out mid-day. Jumped one
buck. But only have a doe tag.
12 ... On Jaci's music ...
http://www.xomba.com/teen_music
11 ... Candace does it again ...
http://www.associatedcontent.com/slideshow/8267/college_girl_on_break.html?cat=16
10 October ...
I got the thing I love
today (and saw the thing I love) ... here
...
10 October ...
I saw the thing I love today ...
an F-18 was parked at the M-P airport. As we were waiting for
Candace's bags it taxied by. I ran outside to watch. It
taxied down to the end of the runway, and then throttled up. Oh,
yeah! I don't think I've ever seen that much thrust at our little
airport.
He lifted off the runway in a short distance, afterburner on, and flew
relatively flat down the field, pulling up the landing gear ... then
... at the end of the runway ... WENT STRAIGHT UP!
Yeah, ... I LOVE IT!
18 ...
I can be such an ass at times.
God, forgive me.
(And help others forgive me.)
16 ... and out of money ...
... we are out of money right now. Seriously. But
it's okay. It's actually better than okay - it's fun. In the past several days
my wife and I have laughed more (together) than we have in years.
... we are working together ... we are seeing how little one really needs.
... and I am seeing miracles, learning to live by faith, and
trust ...
8 September ... Incaution ...
here
4 ... "Bye - Love You."
Gave Chad a Ride to School
Today ...
Yeah he could walk. It's
not that far - would save gas, me time. Besides, 'when I was
growing up ...'.
But, in all the daily commotion of chores, homework, finances, making
lunches, sports practices and meets ... it is one of the few times,
sometimes the only time, when I hear, un-prompted, the precious words,
"Bye - love you."
So, yeah, Moscow is a small town ... one hardly needs a car. I
will myself walk to work, but if my son wants a ride - I'll give him
one.
3 ...
Life is so hard right now - that crying seems
in-sufficient. The only emotion I seem to be able to bring forth,
except for an emotion-less sense
of
... paralysis, ... is to laugh!
Yes,
laugh! ... and sometimes even praise and thank God in it all.
2 September ...
Ughhhhhh ... just couldn't put it together. Got into deer and elk
but couldn't put together a shot.
Too much mental baggage to put
it together.
God help - I will keep pushing,
pressing, leaning, believing, for all your promises.
28 August ...
How is
Jeff Filler?
OMG - how do I
answer your question?
1. I feel
like I am being emptied out
to find out how FULL my life is.
2. We just
took Candace to U of
Portland. She is walking on the tennis team. The coach made no
guarantees. But I'm sitting here almost laughing - I think she will
do it.
3. Before
that – family reunion in
Priest Lake. And before that (early August) we went to Portland for
Michelle's wedding (Michelle is our oldest daughter). (I put some
pics on my FB. If for some reason they aren't there - let me know.)
Whoa ... what a QUEEN.
4. Both
endeavors (daughter getting married and daughter going to college),
understandably,
have depleted me of all our money.
5. So while
my checkbook is empty, I
feel like the richest man in the world.
6. And
chocolate helps with the
present depression of having no money in my checkbook. And so does
some work - which lies before me and which I must soon get to.
7. I am
hungry for and seeking God.
8. But I
think He is saying -
"Filler, you're just stalling, it's not about you finding
me - but that I have found you - and I have work for you to do. Get
about doing it."
9. And so I
will humbly rise and
serve my Maker - ...
10. And
hopefully squeeze in some deer
hunting - it starts this weekend.
Good to hear from you [Deleted] - let's
stay in touch.
Jeff
26 August ... Thought for the day ...
- Beauty - if we seek to understand it - we will no longer enjoy
it.
- Imagination - if we seek to understand it - we'll stop imagining.
- So, when something takes our breath away - we need to let it
(take our breath away).
- And if we find ourselves momentarily lost in a dream - a moment
when our imagination takes us to a higher place - take it in, dream.
- Beauty is undeserved, and to imagine is a gift.
25 August ... God says, "Go For It."
What is "It" ... and
what do you mean by "Go" ...?
"IT" ... is everything you have ever
dreamed of, imagined, prayed for, and believed in. `It' is
everything ever promised. And "Go" means ... "Do, do it, strive,
push, excel," ... it means "don't waste any more time." It means
"press, lean into it." It means ... "don't let go, don't give up
... until you have it."
19 August ...
Da Moose ... 12 yards ...
Too much for my mind to take in ... so I just took pics.
"Wait for it ..." What does that
mean?
Wait means: empty yourself of your anx, your
necessity for the quick fix, your addiction to stress, and
problems. `Wait' means setting aside your `need' (addiction) to make it happen. `Wait' means
stopping long enough to allow GOD to make it happen. `Wait' means
that God can correct your situation way better than you
can. 'Wait' means God can arrange things better than you
can even dream or think.
18 August ... whoa, that was interesting, even a tiny bit scary.
I went up to [deleted]'s
to look for deer and elk. It was kind of stormy - so it would be
interesting to see what the game do (in a wind/dust storm).
Interestingly, they behaved much as normal, coming out about sundown
proper ... the does a bit earlier, and the bucks protracted later.
Some gray clouds appeared.
I kept them in notice over my shoulder from time to time - as rain
would make getting out a problem (with the jeep).
But the clouds were high - and if rain did come - it would come slowly
enough to get out.
But I decided to get up and look west.
Ughhhh ... brown clouds at ground level, coming.
Brown clouds meant dust storm - but worried me was what might be behind
them - rain.
So I made my way hastily down the hill.
The brown cloud hit Moscow - but was still a mile or so to my
west.
But before `it' came - gads - the ground suddenly erupted brown around
me. The wind was picking up dirt and debris in a layer about 8 ft
thick along the ground. And I was in it.
I turned around so at least it was at my back. I could stand
there for some time, if need be, as it would eventually pass, but what
worried me was the potential torrent of rain behind. So I
advanced slowly down the hill, backward. And when it subsided
slightly, forward.
I got in my jeep and made it to pavement as the first rain drops
started to hit.
Right now we are in a Severe Thunderstorm Watch ...
Actually, I am watching it as I write this.
9 August ... A Father's Toast to the Bride ... here
3 August ... 2 Channels
(Tennis and Engineering)
I was playing tennis this
afternoon with Candace. We generally go out and just rally.
Hard.
Interestingly, one of our most awesome (aggressive, tactical) rallies
... I admitted to Candace that I was solving an
engineering consulting problem in my mind (at the same time) ... two
Channels at once, with the tennis actually being more in the
`background'.
Our minds are capable of SO MUCH. If we let ...
I was talking with Candace about the matter - and she admitted the same
thing - that just after a good rally the other day - she realized,
likewise, she had actually been thinking about something else
(while playing).
I asked her ... "And I'll bet you were thinking about something enjoyable."
She
said, "Yes."
Oh our minds are capable of so much ... if we simply let ... allow ...
free.
Hitting good strong tactical tennis shots ... it is like "putting it
away" on a good consulting job. Oh, the satisfaction of a
well hit shot ... or solution.
As we think about enjoyable things, things we enjoy, things we are good
at - we free our minds to do even MORE, BETTER, FURTHER.
Alternatively, if we think about losing, bad thoughts, our problems,
hindrances, liabilities ... we bog our minds up ... and do worse.
So, let us think about the things (and people, and places) that we
love, and enjoy. Let's live in the present ... not in the past,
and not too far into the future.
Heaven is livable, taste-able, feel-able, enjoy-able ... here and now.
... on Wal*Mart ... here
Camp is over.
As we were cleaning up today, camp
closed, and then getting ready to depart, ... I was wondering if I
would feel bonded to the people I have been living, eating, working,
and camping with for the last 6 weeks ... like they have shared they
do. But now I am home. A passersby walked around the corner
of our block - I looked - "David !" (The Dining Hall Master) ... but,
no - just a passersby. And later ... "Kendall !" (The Camp `Disco
Break' Clown) ... but, no ... simply a young Moscow man. Maybe
these people have sunk into me deeper than I presently know.
2 August ... "An Old Man (and Daughter) in (Boy Scout) Camp" ... here
1 August ... Camp-wide Games.
Jaci competed in the Camp-wide Games
today, in particular the Grizzly Ironman Quadrathalon (Swim, Run, Bike,
Shoot Shotgun and finish Bike). She CRUSHED the field of
competitors (Scouts, Scoutmasters, and others). As she came
though the Shotgun Range my Assistant (not with my permission) threw 2
errant targets - to slow here down. And she still won. She
was radiant as she came through my Range. I wished I had my
camera.
July 19 ... Scouts, staff, and I went through 3100 rounds at the
shotgun range this week.
Boy Scout Camp ... the days are long.
The
food is fabulous.
July 12 ... went through some 2600 shotgun rounds with the Scouts this
last
week*.
Swing ...
Broken Bird ! ...
I must add: it is also a lot of fun to watch my staff and the scouts
coach one another.
* ... and some 11,000 22 cal. rounds on Jason's
ranges.
July 11 ... well, the second (Scout) week is almost
over.
I thought this week would be easier,
but it wasn't - maybe even a bit harder. But it went
better. Oh, except for Tuesday night. I was put in
charge
of the two muzzleloader blasts at the retirement of flags during one of
our ceremonies. Try my best - but instead of blasts - there were
... click, CLICK! (A humiliating way to learn more about
muzzleloaders.)
We had a fabulous shoot-off this morning. First the Senior Patrol
Leaders in Single Elimination, then the Scout Masters. Fabulous
scout shooters. And the scout masters were tough also. Then
those two champs faced off, and the champ scout master won. Then
he and I faced off. I let him choose the shoot. He chose
`Quads' - which he had been shooting earlier in the week but I had
heretofore not attempted. Quads is basically four birds released
at once (two from each of two throwers) and our throwers were
in `Pheasant Mode' (flat trajectories). Tough. By
the observation of many I won - but there were some disputers, so we
kept going and the scout master ended up winning. Ughhhhh.
But in the world of Boy Scout Camps - it's not a bad thing for a scout
master to win, either.
At dinner a scout asked me what I liked most about my job. I
said, "Two things: first, seeing these first-time shooters learn to
break clay pigeons; and second, after shoots at my range my staff and I
`play a little'. Oh, the late night snacks when the cook allows
staff to go for the leftovers."
July 6 ... check this out:
I was in the sporting goods store
buying some ammo for Camp. I had on my uniform and a hat.
The gal at the checkout asked me for my ID to make sure I was old
enough to buy ammo.
I told her that I look younger than I am, and that I feel even younger
than that. Yeah!
July 1 ... I turn 50 ... here
...
YEAH !
June 22 - 28 ... Shooting Sports Director / Shotgun Range Director,
Week 1, Camp Grizzly.
This `camp' thing is finally
getting fun. Training week in CO was too intense. And our
staff week was not much fun as I was having to learn the whole camp and
boy scout `culture'. The Boy Scouts have a different hand shake -
and when one of the National Inspectors gave me one I thought he was
gay or something. The first week was a bust
organizationally. I was lecturing long and hard. Boy Scouts
only want about 100 seconds of lecturing and then they want to start
shooting. But now I know and will reorganize my stuff to suit
their attention spans.
It is pretty fun watching these kids break clay pigeons (some for the
first time ever picking up a shotgun). In fact - the ones that
have not shot at all are some of the best shots. Scary.
Almost everyone qualified (need to break 12 of 25 birds in two 25 shot
rounds). Some kids were up in the twenty-and-above range.
The first-time shooters don't have bad habits to overcome. On the
last day of the first week we had a tournament. We had a
single-elimination tournament for the Senior Patrol Leaders , and
then for the Scout Masters (adults). Then those two winners
had to face off. Then camp tradition is that the winner face off
with me. The winning scout master beat the winning patrol
leader. Then he and I had a 5-shot playoff. I busted the
first five of five. He missed his first shot ... yes, over, I
keep my job.
... commendation on trauma incident ... (oops, deleted?)
June 15 - 21 ... Staff (Training and Setting Up) Week - Camp Grizzly,
ID (BSA Camp) ...
12 June ... "Dreaming ... IS life." (Nadja Rider,
email, today).
I am thinking that the only way to understand the Bible
and life (Life) of Jesus ... is to understand metaphysics and some of
this New Age stuff ...
.... to the horror of my `Orthodox' brethren.
10 June ... wonder ...
God says ... every day can be ... in
fact ... IS ... a day of wonder. It is snowing outside.
Bad Dreams ... here
To Eckhart Tolle ... here
6 June ... "What's my problem?"
O.M.G. ... I was going up to my (home)
office to work. Jaci's music was blaring in the background.
She had left the room. I walked in to turn it off. But it
was kind of `catchy', so I stayed and listened. Jaci came back in the
room. I liked her
music. She lit up.
You see - by accepting and liking her music - and letting her know about it - I accepted her. My normal mode of
operation is to dislike her music, and let her know about it - and/but,
by doing so, I reduce her a
little bit each time I do. O.M.G. !!! ... isn't my daughter - and
building her up - so much more important that my `problem' with her
music???
Deja Vu ... here
1 June ... I have decided to RETIRE.
24 May - 30 May ... National Camp School, Peaceful Valley, CO.
21 May ... OMG - I see it.
Our lives have darkness and confusion
because we lack intention and purpose. Chaos and darkness give
way to light and organization with our intention.
May 19 ... I have dreamed of having a position where it is my `job' to
shoot ... (rifle, shotgun, archery ... at fixed targets and 3-d) ...
I am more and more convinced that
dreams and matters of the heart are more effective than money, effort,
time, and position.
Imagine (dream)
where you will be - and it will be so.
...
General Maximus to his men at the beginning of the opening
battle in Gladiator (2000).
It is so important to keep our hearts
pure - not so much for `religious' sake - but because it is from our
heart that all real life flows.
May 15 ... I think I just did something stupid, maybe even dangerous ...
Finished up with some consulting - so
decided to do something different - a power climb. Putting the
climb in context - on the hill it was calm, sunny, and in the
80s. The climbs thus far this year have been in the 30s. I
ate a bunch of McDonalds food, and then at the bottom of the mountain
guzzled an entire
LARGE
coffee, black, all the caffeine. About three fourths the way up -
I had to take a major break. It scares me to think [deleted
... - I'll just say I better not do that
again]. After a decent
break, I got back on my feet, and with the sun almost set, made it the
rest of the way to
the top, and then back down.
May 14 ... "Three times a day." ...
pays
off ...
6 May ... Moose two ...
So, I am walking up this hill along the
edge of a field, and a young moose blasts out into the field right in
front of me. I think, Cool! Out of the corner of my
eye I see another, bigger, coming; ... no doubt `mommy'. She
comes to the edge of the field, sees me, and halts. Mommy is about
fifteen yards away. I am thinking, Cool!. And
then she starts walking toward me. My thoughts have now
gone from `cool' to `this (big) animal is moving straight toward
me'. ... (A mature female moose is perhaps five times a big as I
am.) She stops about ten yards away. `Baby' (still a huge
animal) is behind me in the field. I am between the
two. They exchange a few noises as the younger one goes
completely around me - they join in in the brush and move off about
seventy-five yards. My camera is now working and I get some (relatively
distant) pics.
I didn't feel in danger, per se, but I do think Mommy wanted Baby
back. It was an `Assisi
moment'.
5 May ... an `Assisi' moment.
I went up to [deleted's] last night
looking for wild turkey. Got into some deer. I could smell
them (a first for me and deer). (Oh, they don't smell all that
great - but it was a cool experience - experiencing the outdoors and
wildlife in a further dimension.) As I was coming out - across a
draw I saw a moose. I didn't have anything else to do - so I
decided to see if I could get closer. I went around and got on
the same draw as he, and as I closed the distance to less than
seventy-five yards or so - he noticed me. I took it slow - and he
seemed non-threatened. So I got closer. I want to say I
`sneaked' - but I was in the open - and he was already aware of
me. On the other hand - it was what I would call an `Assisi'
(Saint Francis of Assisi) ... as I got closer and closer. I
eventually got within about 11 yards - the only thing between us a
slash pile about three feet tall, of which we both stood very much
above.
May 4 ... "and he appeared in another form."
It had been a very hard
night/morning. I went to church very much in need. There is
a kid who often sits behind us in church. I forgot his
name, but my wife says his name is John. But I kind of like him -
and I will at times put my hand on his shoulder and be warm and
friendly and interested. This morning, `out of the blue', he put his hand on my shoulder.
O.M.G.
... now I see it. Jesus said he would never leave us or
forsake us. We don't believe it because we don't see him, or what we think is him. Our `image' of
him. We are waiting for someone to show up who looks like the `Jesus'
we saw in our Sunday School lessons, or in the stained glass in
church. But he can take on any
form he chooses to. He can show up in a child, or as a
`stranger', or maybe in a gentle breeze, or the moment of mist just at
sunrise. How can we pin him down to an `image' - where the
possibilities of how he might show up are infinite.
I thanked him (John) - I said I really needed that.
25 ... (At Bank ... making a deposit)
"I love this stuff ... but true living has no bearing on how much you
have of it. That
(knowledge) is freedom!"
18 ... I went looking primarily for bear and secondarily turkey.
Saw primarily elk and secondarily deer.
17 ... I would have gone after that bear ... but I got attacked and bit
by a dog riding my bike home from campus. Police, Animal Control,
doctor to get cleaned up and for antibiotics and a tetanus shot.
Ughhhhhhh.
16 ... did some work out in the County (Camp Grizzly). On the way
back decided
to hunt `Keith's' ... at sunset saw 2 beautiful toms across a meadow,
with 2 others - but couldn't
close the gap ...
And saw oodles of deer.
15 April, Opening Day of ...
I saw the thing my heart loved today
... a beautiful brown Black bear. I will go after it.
14 ... thoughts on the movie Enchanted
... draft, here
13 ...
Actually, perhaps the two (experiences)
are related. (See 9 April.) I mean, sometimes my wife has
barked, as she scampers away, "Three
times in one day is ENOUGH!"
Time of Love ... (April 1)
... as I was photographing, they went behind a big boulder and
disappeared.
Somehow I felt I shouldn't disturb them. After a minute or so,
the hen came out, [deleted], then the drake. I think they had
just ...
you know.
11 April ... came back with a tick from walk up on the hill.
Amazing ... the snow's not even gone.
9 April ...
I was photographing ducks today.
One hen Mallard
barked like a dog. I had to do a double take. And then a
triple take. Yes. It sounded like one of those little
barky-dogs that old people take on bike trails with a leash ... you
know - the ones that make a pathetic lunge at you as you go by. I
would have thought it to be a dog - but the noise was coming out of the
DUCK!
I am coming to believe IN THIS DAY AND AGE that anything is up for
grabs, really!
8 April ...
My dad a year or so back, talking about
a friend of his, ... he "hunts even more than you do." Well, the
guy is a part time guide - so, go figure. What a crushing thing
to tell a son. :) May I live to see the day that I hunt more than
a part time guide. Maybe I already do.
7 April ... Ashamed of Love ... here
5 April ... Pintail on Richard's pond ... (see pic)
4 April ... Shoveler pair on Richard's pond. Mallards,
also. Been watching some 50 wigeon, with single drake Pintail in
the mix - but no good pics.
31 March ... Several Things ...
For The Beauty ...
The other day my wife and I were
talking about `beauty'. A flower is beautiful for beauty sake. It's not
beautiful for function - as it could function without it. Same
with a sunset. Oh, My! ... I missed it all these years. I
should give my wife flowers - not for the function (because in function
I'll not give at all) - but for the thrill
it
brings her heart.
... my wife gets back from a trip tonight. I bought her
some flowers. I can walk through the store day after day, month
after month, year after year, and not turn a head. But walk
through the store with some flowers. OMG! Female heads
turn. Happily married ones. (Maybe especially happily married
ones.) I thought - perhaps it's like this to be a girl and have a
nice bod and walk around wearing a string bikini in a store of
men. (But alas, it was not me toward which they turned - but the flowers.)
Flowers to a woman ... like a beautiful
nude to a man.
One doesn't give flowers to a woman because it's logical; one gives
because they are beautiful.
On writing ...
I gotta write ...I have been hitting brick walls lately - I think it is
because I am not in line with my Destiny.
And ... photography.
On Gardening ...
I am thinking of doing a garden plot - yes, hand tools and hand
care. Consider when you have been swimming or diving in a lake,
and you were underwater when a motor boat went by? ... yikes, the
sound!, the fear! Perhaps so it is with modern farming, and the
`machinery' overhead.
30 March ...
Finished Marianne Williamson's book ... The Age of Miracles ... the
first third - esp. the Intro - is jaw-dropping. Some of the other
stuff I ... yet.
29 March ...O.M.G.!
Gen 4:11 And
now thou art cursed from the earth, which hath opened her
arms to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand.
Rev
12:16 And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened up her
mouth, and swallowed up the flood ...
We are too used to
thinking of the
earth and creation as `it' ... `matter' - just `material'. That's
not how
the Bible sees `it'. Maybe we would take better care of our
environment if we recognized `it' is a `her'.
Can
we assume the God (or the Bible writers) is (were) careless with
words? Or must we assume there is something MUCH BIGGER here
than we are accustomed to thinking? Perhaps there is more to
the idea of `Mother Earth' than we western civilized people are
accustomed to think.
Maybe it is no
accident that the
world, creation, universe is so BEAUTIFUL.
Maybe, like a woman,
it (SHE) responds
to how she is treated.
Likewise, it may be no accident, that
when we treat her bad, she is nasty
in return.
... marvelous.
28 March ...
That's why Jesus caused so much
furor. People came to him with their `bless me' and `fix my
neighbor, wife, roommate' prayers. And Jesus' response was to
[ignore them and] write in the sand. When Jesus did speak - he
said things like - remove the log from your OWN eye.
Take up your CROSS and follow me. If you want a better
life - EXIT the one you're presently in. Sell all you
have (not get) and give it (the money from the sale) to the
poor. No wonder we think our prayers go unanswered. Answers
like the ones Jesus gives are not on our radar screen, not on our
shopping list.
Earlier ... on
unanswered prayer ...
If I think of all the unanswered prayer I have logged - I start to
laugh. (Or cry.) My prayers of all shapes and sizes seem to
go down range and bounce relentlessly off hardened targets.
Reload - blaze away, same result. My children on the other hand,
pray, and changes in the cosmos of geographic proportions unfold.
Georgia - it's like a single shot rim-fire 22 - shooting off the hip on
the fly as she goes about her day - and they all `hit' - unleashing
beautiful changes or additions to the world around her.
27 March ... For the Beauty!
Gold ... where is it? Buried at
Fort Knox? WTF! Gold is for beauty - and it's buried, hidden?!!! That's
awful.
The Ancients used gold to decorate their palaces and
temples! God has given us so much beauty - and we miss it - or we
get it and bury it. Could a bee find a flower in black and
white? Yeah, probably. God
gave
the COLOR, the BEAUTY, to us.
Undated ...
Jesus said, "Come see where I lay my
head." Now I see it. Jesus was inviting them to see his
life of simplicity.
23 ... Easter ... OMG! ... I think I'm becoming an `environmentalist'.
All the sudden I see the
`connectedness' we have to our environment. If
we trash the planet we trash our home. In some sense a love for
my
natural world provides a `home' for such thinking - but now it has
expanded, or matured, or progressed - to the next level. My
connection
to it. Our need for `care'. Enjoying recycling.
Sensing the need to
be more modest. It's a `conversion' experience. I feel
crossing into
a whole new life.
22 March ... "It is Good" Bike Ride ... here
And ...
Thin Red Line in the afternoon, with Frank ... 48:30
for me ... 46 for him.
21 ... watching wigeon, recent bike ride ...
16 March, Skunk Route, w/ Georgia ... 47 min.
Totaled 10,000 vertical feet this break.
15 March, Skunk Route, Solo, 40 min.
13 March ... Skunk Route, Solo, in the rain ... 41 minutes.
10 March ... Skunk Route ... with Michelle, Cara, and Jaci ... 50
minutes (for me ... much less for Jaci).
All made it to the top.
9 March ... solo ... Skunk Route, 42 minutes.
1 March ... new route ... and slow.
... pic of storm ... here
16 Feb ...
Skiing today ...
... Perfect `10'.
15 Feb ...
.... the beauty and mystery of my wife's body ... intoxicating.
10 Feb ... Thin Red Line ...
51 minutes (49 for me) ... not too bad.
9 Feb ... On Emergencies ...
I have
been thinking about the idea of `emergencies'. We as Americans
(or we as humans) are too
easily sucked into the thinking that life is an emergency.
Paying bills, homework due, this problem, that problem, and so
on.
Now, don't get me wrong - there are some true emergencies. When
Sue collapsed out jogging - that was an emergency. But I find
that I handle too much of all of life that way. Survival.
Survival of the fittest. Then I read the Bible. Jesus had
`pretty big shoes to fill' ... but I don't get the sense that he
considered it a big emergency - or series of emergencies. Oh,
yes, the people around him were in emergencies - but he seemed
to level everything out. Emergency thinking is a `high' in a
sense - it gives us a false sense of importance - as we are always
rescuing ourselves and others in our `emergency' situations.
But it also keeps us from looking at what is important.
I
find that I get all caught up in bills, work, keeping everything
together - and miss how I treat my family, or mistreat, or not treat
at all. Whoa ... wrong! I need to step back and take a
better look. I need to give, and love, instead of just `fix'.
7 Feb ... 1 AM ...
... went skiing on the hill
beside our house. Perhaps the best powder I have ever
skied. DIVINE !!!
2 Feb ... I guess I'll admit we have a lot of snow. I was walking
back from skiing on the hill beside my house I something whacked me in
the head. "WT ... !?" I turned around to see that I had run
into the eave of our garage ROOF. And I am a short person.
... All this snow? I LOVE IT !!!
27 January ... skiing again this weekend ... (video clip ... here)
23 January ... we have run out of wild game meat. The other day I
went to the
store and bought some over-the-counter beef. I cooked it
up. It was awful. I had my wife return the rest of
it.
Gotta get an elk.
22 January ... Regret isn't about what you did or didn't do ... it's
about how you think and how
you feel about what you did
or didn't
do.
18-21 January ... went skiing this weekend, here ... here
19 January ... Power Climb ... here
